Whaaaa? Well, if you think about it, when you say no to something, you're saying no so that you can say yes to something else. And when you say yes to something, you're also saying no to several other things. For example: if you say yes to attending a wedding one weekend, then you're saying no to staying at home and completing a home project. You're saying no to hanging out with people who weren't invited to the wedding. You're saying no to extra sleep. You're saying no seeing a movie, relaxing on the couch, or any other thing that isn't the wedding. Another example: When you say no to eating something that's bad for you, you're actually saying yes to taking care of your body, to losing weight, to getting more active, or any other result that comes from making the decision to not eat junk food.
Sometimes it's hard to be clear on whether we should say yes or no to things that come up in our lives. Or sometimes, we just make unintentional decisions, that are based on habits we don't even really know we have. When we stop for a second and consider all the things that we are actually saying no or yes to, it's like zooming in on a map on your phone and getting to see tons more details like traffic, exit ramps, and the names of buildings. Zooming in on the map and knowing what you're really saying yes and no to provide clarity on the path that you're choosing.
I recently had the opportunity to zoom in on my life map and get clear on where I was. When I started my business five years ago, I was given the opportunity to also help real estate agents with their paper work. It was a great opportunity. I learned a ton, got to help people, created a ton of new friendships, and my business got to grow. Five years later, I zoomed in on my map and saw that I had gotten off on an exit into real estate “transactionville” and had never quite gotten back on the highway. I saw all the things I was unintentionally saying no to by saying yes to real estate transaction management as part of my business. I looked back at my original vision for my business and saw that I had wandered off the path without intending to. I decided to make a bold decision to say no to real estate transaction management in order to say yes to my original vision of growing a personal concierge business to help people get their to-do lists done and have more free time to enjoy their lives. My purpose on this planet is to be a light of joy, and while managing transactions is helpful to people, I didn't feel like me sitting a computer trying to stay on top of dates and emails was in alignment with my purpose and my vision. Saying yes to being in alignment with my purpose and my vision is more important to me than saying yes to managing transactions for the financial gain it brings to my business or because I don't want people to be upset if I say no. When I looked at it like that, the choice was clear immediately. While it's hard to let go of something I've worked hard on and I'm so grateful for, I can be grateful for the experience and let go at the same time. Sometimes you get to say no in order to say yes.
I'm excited to re-focus on the original vision and to begin to intentionally grow my business. I get to continue to help more people get their tasks done and enjoy the time they have. If you go back to one of my first blog posts, you'll see a story about my friend, Ali, who was one of the most compassionate people I have ever known. She even lost her life trying to help someone. I started this business in her honor for two reasons. One, we don't know how much time we actually have with our friends and family. We don't know how much time we have on this planet to make an impact. The one thing we can't get more of is time. So I set out to find a way to help people choose happiness in the time that they do have on this planet. Secondly, I wanted to carry on Ali's compassion and commitment to helping anyone and everyone she met. While I never really lost sight of my commitment to helping people, I did lose sight of my vision to grow a business that can help as many people as possible, and one day people all across our country and the world. That's a really big vision and in order to get there, I will definitely have many opportunities to practice saying no to say yes.